"I carried a watermelon...."

Have you ever had one of those moments? You know, a moment where you just felt so star-struck and dumb...like when Johnny Castle asked his cousin "Yo Cuz, what's SHE doin' here?" and his cousin says
"She's with me, she came with me..."

and Baby replies "I carried a watermelon."

Yeah. I have too. Let me share my "I carried a watermelon" moment with you.

Let me set the scene...It was mid-april 2005, We are heading to the Kokua Festival at the Waikiki Shell in Hawaii to see my (now ex)boyfriend Jack Johnson play. In Hawaii.
There were also a few other folks on stage that night,

Ben Harper




Willie Nelson



and also: Paula Fuga, Henry Kapono and the ALO.
I have basically been obsessed with JJ ever since the first time I heard Bubbly Toes on The River (the crappy radio station I boycotted after they played WAY too much Bruce Springsteen) during my daily commute that I used to take, when I had an actual job. I had seen him once before in Boston at the Pavilion along with G-Love and Donavon Frankenreiter, two of my OTHER favorites...but, back to Jack. He is SO CUTE. And I mean cute. I even think that Duane would give me a free pass, just like I would give him a free pass for Sheryl Crow.

Free Pass coming up:



So, here we are, at the Waikiki Shell, heading in to the concert. We had scalped our tickets on eBay, and since this was a benefit concert for the kids of Hawaii, we bought a couple of T-shirts, a CD, a cute bag to carry all the stuff around in, and a poster. As we are heading to our seats, with our beer and bags and Henry Kapono on the stage I stop. Dead in my tracks. O.M.G. NO WAY! I turn, stare and I just can't help myself...I go over to this particularly super cute surfer man, sitting with a bunch of people wearing back stage concert passes and this is how it goes:

ME: "Uh...um...your not??? Are you...uh...are you Jack Johnson???"
(do you feel my pain...?)

HIM: "Nope. I'm his brother."

ME: "Wow, well, you look an awful lot like your brother then, I think you guys could be twins."

And that is it. I am THIS CLOSE to JJ and all I can say is:

"I carried a watermelon!?!?!" Are you kidding me. I KNOW it was him, because if you could only have seen the shit-eating grin on his face when he told me he was his brother.

I slink up to my seat, which is about 4 rows directly up from where he and his buddies are sitting and this is the picture I get....



So, Jack, if you are reading this:

It is OVER. We are totally breaking up.

We still had a whole bunch of fun



Click here to learn more about the Kokua Foundation