Rochester, NH Police Logs

8:09 a.m. -- On D'amours Avenue, a sick skunk wanders round in circles, but manages to break free of that orbit and disappear ere police arrive.

12:53 p.m. -- On Pine Street, someone threatens to “whack a dog with an ax,” Lizzie Borden-like.

5:11 p.m. -- The poor old sick skunk is baaack on D'amours Avenue. It is trapped under a barrel, and left for Fish and Game to decide its fate in the morning.

6:01 p.m. -- An Academy Street man reports the unwanted presence of a lady in a brown bikini who is carrying a color-coordinated orange snake.

10:55 p.m. -- On Charles Street, a lady clad in blue shorts and T-shirt has a snake around her neck. Whether she has changed her snake to match her new outfit is not clear.

1:08 a.m. -- A motorist is tailgated on Rochester Neck Road by a large white dump truck, the driver of which then gets out and spits on him.

11:08 a.m. -- A cruelty to cats allegation is checked out at Amazon Campground, where fur occasionally flies.

12:08 a.m. -- Verily, a gray-haired man in front of Cumberland Farms on North Main Street doth shout scripture passages at customers. (And lo, it came to pass that he was served with a trespass notice.)

3:48 p.m. -- Two horses are clumping around Blackwater Road. An officer rounds 'em up.

8:48 a.m. -- On Seasons Lane, beer cans have been tossed onto a property. Fine amateur detective work reveals similar cans are residing in a neighbor's trash barrel. Things are resolved happily without the need for an officer.